Tuesday, January 27, 2015
做工,做了这么久。。从没真的好好仔细想想我想要的是什么。。。想做的是怎样的工作。。。
以自以来。。。都为了老公。。。为了给孩子更好的所以都忍。。
可是。。。想在。。。好像。。。累了。。。
不想这样下去。。。
可是。。。又不能放弃。。
怎么办。。。
JaCe revealed the secret on
9:54 PM

Tuesday, June 25, 2013
25 June 2013...
WOOOSSSSH...
Now is already June ...
6 Month had passed from the Calendar....
Yet .. I'm still jobless ...
Every member in my husband family house (include my husband) tot that I'm LAZY to work...
Which caused me till now does not have a proper full time job ...
But the fact is ..
Whenever I got new job ..
There is always something bad happen .. If not the company tink that I'm not the right candidate for them...
HAIX ...
At time .. I really feel that I'm super lousy ...
Because even a simple job also dunno how to do .. Or take ,,, :(
N I can lose job over minor problem, or urgent leave..
Just like my recent one .. Which took 3 days for me to lose e job ...
HAIX ....
Nobody noe my emotion..
Nobody noe my though ..
Feeling ...
People around me always ting that they are always rite ..
But I'm always in e wrong ...
Just like earlier on ..
My husband make my son fall down ..
I nv scold him nor said him ,,,
But .. Last week..
I did not save my son from injuring ..
He scold me so badly ... And put all e blame on me ...
HAIX ...
Alike incident .. Yet two different treatment ....
I hate to stay here with them ,,,
Selfish ... Blameful...no sense of humors..
JaCe revealed the secret on
9:10 PM

Thursday, January 31, 2013
31 January 2013.....
Sometime ... I really sick of the life with you....
I even though of leaving this place with Rave ....
And just walk out of your life ....
Or even file a divorce with you .....
And walk separate way.....
In the first place ... you don't truly love me or like me ...
You don't even really bother me and Rave ...
Or even bother listen to me when i am talking to you ...
Or even bother to read the message i send ...
Sometime .... i really suspect ...
What status are we ....
Do you really take me as your truthful wife ....
Or just nobody to you ...
I am always the one who initiate ...
Whereby you did nothing ...
I always try to forgive and forget you ...
Whenever you lie to me ...
Or u did something which really pissed me off .....
But you ....
Never did a thing ...
Just continue to put on your anger on me ...
As if the whole world offence you ...
I know your attitude is like that ...
But i never though of it has becoming from bad to worst ....
SERIOUSLY I HATE IT !~
I hate the way you treat me ...
I hate the way you insult of me ...
Even i had alot of thing which wanna share you ....
I also have to tink twice before i said ...
LIFE IS MISERABLE AT HERE ....
IF I WOULD HAVE THE CHOICE ...
I WILL LEAVE WITHOUT HESITATE ...
You never stay in my point of view ...
And understand my situation ...
Only know how to pour me cold water ....
And make empty promise to me ....
Playing a REMOTE CONTROL CAR is more important than ME AND RAVE ....
Watching a video is more important then give me a hug or sayang ME ....
All e leisure u do prove that ...
These are more important then us .....
I had never experience that staying with you is so tired ...
You no longer like the person i use to know ...
Nor we are any closer then before ...
JaCe revealed the secret on
1:06 PM

31 January 2013 ....
Time flies fast ...
A week more to Chinese Lunar New Year ....
The Year of SNAKE !~
And 3 month later will be my son RAVE 2nd birthday !~
Weeeee......
Well, frankly speaking is not a easy task to take care of a child with a Pierre Robin Sequence ..
As i need alot alot of patience, time, energy, sleepless night &&&
Family nagging instead of family encouraging or comforting......
Rave was born on 20 April 2011..
When the moment he arrived on earth,
Doctor diagnose that he had a cleft palate...
Which is similar with me when i am young....
So he had to feed thru by a NG Tube instead of a normal milk bottle.....
During the stay at NICU, Specialist doctor start to diagnose another problem on Rave....
That is, He had low oxygen which will cause him turn blue....
We were shock to get the news...
So doctor suggested us to get him a Trachestomy to help him on his airway problem..
To help him use less energy to breath and focus on growing up....
So i make the major decision by accepting the choice to save my little boy...
After the OP everything when well and smooth, and was discharge on the 29 July 2011....
During the care at home, was kind of stress to me ...
As everyone is working, only i am the main care taker...
Though husband did promise me that he will help out ...
But that was a empty promise....
During the 1 year 6 months of taking care him....
I lost my freedom ....
I lost my friends ....
I lost my own income .....
I lost my job....
I even lost my dignity ....
Not many friend understand the situation i am in...
And i would't choose to leave ....
I personally know that he is the kind of MAN or HUSBAND i want ....
But ... yet i still to stay .....
Whereby i still complain and nag
Despite i have lost so many thing...
I do gain goodies during the care ...
I gain the knowledge of taking care a PRS child (Hopefully the next baby is a healthy baby =) )
I gain the bonding with Rave( Despite i still punish him if he did smth wrong )...
I gain the stage of growing up with him ...
I witness what other never witness...
Example:
The moment he can bottle feed ...
The moment he know how to flip....
The moment he know how to talk baby language ....
The moment he know how to crawl ...
The moment he know how to Sit ....
The moment he know how to Stand ....
The moment he know how to Walk ...
The moment he know how to call PAPA & MAMA (AH MA, AH GONG, JIU JIU and etc) ....
Which his father and other family hardly join in this moment ....
Even the every BIG MOMENT which fall on 04/01/13 ...
REMOVE THE TRACHEOTOMY ....
That was the moment ...
Where i told myself ...
I and Rave REALLY MAKE IT ....!!~
Now FINALLY !~
He had fully recover!~
I am truly very happy over the moon...
And would also like to thank the KKH specialist doctor and special nurses for the help and guide during the care and assisting my son and me......
Without their help, everyting would have been so successful....
THANK YOU !~ (DR Annette Ang, DR Teoh Oon Hoe, Nurse Mariani, Nurse Rachel).....
Now I am currently looking for a childcare center for Rave..
As there is anybody can look after him, despite he is well an healthy now ..
As my husband, mother-in-law and sis-in-law all need to work....
As for my mother, she need to take of the housework, two brother and husband ...
Which i doubt she will have time for Rave.....
So childcare is the only place that there will be somebody helping me to take care of him...
And also educate him....
Only wish is:
*****Hope he will grow more healthy and stronger then before ....*******
Mummy LOVES you!~
JaCe revealed the secret on
12:39 PM

Friday, November 23, 2012
23 November 2012 ...
你是我妈妈吗。。。
我真的还怀疑。。。
你喜欢我儿子吗?
还是根本不喜欢我儿子。。。
我真的很讨厌你们。。
往往都把事情放在心里。。。
都不跟我说。。。
等到受不了才把它全部讲出来。。。
你们知道有多伤人吗? 。。。
你们永远只看到我的不好。。
都不会看到我的好。。。
你们真的有真心疼爱我吗?
有吗?。。。
说真的。。
真心的。。。
你说的话。。在那个时候很伤人。。。
。。。。
JaCe revealed the secret on
11:35 PM

Tuesday, October 23, 2012
钱钱钱。。。 钱钱钱。。。。
都是为了前。。。
难道我付出的不够多吗。。。
难道付出钱的你,才叫付出吗? 。。。
我有多久没买我想买的东西你懂吗? 。。
我有多久没做我想做的事你懂吗?。。
一直都只有你。。
只有你, 在享受你的日子。。
做你想做的事。。
我却,什么都没得做。。
只能在家顾孩子。。。
你常常说孩子是属于你的。。
但是,你却不愿意照顾孩子。。。
成天到晚都去玩车店。。。
多过陪我和孩子。。。
不是我爱唠叨。。
可是,有时的你,真的太过分。。。
啊啊啊啊。。。。
我好生气。。。。
所以,我想做工的原因,是因为我要有钱。。。
我有钱,我就可以做我想做的事。。。
你懂吗? 。。。
我要求的并不多。。
可是,你却做不到。。。
两百五很大吗? 。。。
很大的话。。 我和你兑换角色看看阿。。
JaCe revealed the secret on
2:02 AM

Friday, October 12, 2012
12 October 2012 ...
好久没写了。。。
今天。。。 也是我的生日。。。 🎂。。
我想今年的生日是我最难忘的一个吧。。。
。。。。。。。。。
为什么会这样呢。。
明明有好的日子却不好好过。。
明明有疼爱他的孩子却不珍惜。。。
难道人就要这样犯贱吗??? 。。。
有美好的人生却不过选者去过烂到他妈的糟的人生。。。
。。。。。。。
我明明有一个很疼爱我的爸爸。。。
为什么会一夜之间就变了能。。。
那个疼爱我的爸爸去了那里。。。
以前的爸爸。。我很想你。。。
你回来好吗?。。。
回头吧。。。 不要在陷下去了
。。。。。。。。。
机会是给懂得回改的人。。。
所以。。 只要你真的想真心回改。。。
我们会原谅你。。。
真的。。
爸爸我想你。。。
JaCe revealed the secret on
1:07 AM
